i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
