I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The dick lei will go down in squad history
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
