Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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