I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
