I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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