At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
be right there i have to get my cape
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
