Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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