imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
