Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I puked a lego.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
