i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
