apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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