I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
