So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
two words: eviction party
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
