His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
