I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
