I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
