can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
