its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
