Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
