just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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