Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
