Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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