drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
