Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't put those talents on a resume
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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