3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
