I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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