Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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