thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
