so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
