Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
