After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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