my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
