Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
