Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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