I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Shame - the story of my life.
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