I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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