Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
