You just made me feel so damn special
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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