How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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