Dual....:-)
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
