Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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