Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want nice things and good sex
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
