Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
