He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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