so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
