There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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