I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
