Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
