I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
