Three words: puerto rican gang bang
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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