i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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