Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize