Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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