she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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