I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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