Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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